Hello, April 26th! It’s quite nice to see you again :)
In the past 22 years of my life, it’s been quite a journey. A lot has gone down, and many things have happened, but I’m glad I’m still around. Perhaps some people may think that being 22 isn't much to boast about and that turning 22 is just turning into another number, but not for me. There’ve been some rough patches that could've knocked me down, but I chose to hang in there. That definitely is something to be proud of — at least for me!
My life hasn't been easy, and maybe yours too. Held onto the belief that “everything will be okay someday, so please hang in there”, I decided to keep going, continue living my days, waiting for another April 26th to roll back around.
“are you happy?”
Well.. It’s a question I’ve grappled with for years, and one I’m still working on answering. They say happiness is something we make for ourselves, but I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet. Maybe I still feel like I’m missing something, or I just ask for too much.
Dearest Indira,
I’m sorry for all the wounds you’ve felt all this time, I’m sorry for allowing it to control you. I’m sorry if you always feel like you were unwanted and not enough all this time, I’m sorry if you have to feel those kind of feelings.
I hope this is the year you change your life in all the ways you always secretly wanted to, I hope you don’t need any graves to bury everything that dead inside of you anymore. You don’t need to be strong all the time, sometimes you just need to be alone and let your tears out. I hope you can just be honest about your feelings, what you want, what you need, what you feel. I hope you can always hold on to the tiny hope that one day you’ll be able to live the life you always wanted.
I hope this is the year when you heal your wounds without spreading the pain, and just in case no one has told you lately; you’ve done a great job holding onto yourself through all these difficult times & I’m so proud of you. Remember, everything will always end well. If it isn’t well, then it’s not the end.
Happy birthday 🤍
