It’s been a while since I’ve shared my thoughts here. So much has been happening in my life, one thing after another, but I’ve felt too overwhelmed to put my feelings into words. Haven’t we all been there? When we have something we want to pursue but our emotions and feelings are just messed it up?
As I’ve grown, I’ve learned that positivity isn’t the answer to getting through every day. It’s acceptance — accepting that there will be moments of light and darkness, you can fail, break down in tears, feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, or maybe just accepting that you’ll never receive the apology you deserve — that’s all okay. Acceptance brings peace, because in time you’ll see that it all leads to joy and fulfillment.
Indeed it’s never good to stay in chokehold of guilt and shame, or to keep walking in eggshels that is holding you back from exploring the next phases of your life. To anyone reading this; you’ve carried that burden for so long, you’ve punished yourself enough and now it’s time to let go.
To accept and heal is a huge thing, but if I were lend a chance to speak to my past or younger self, apologies are probably the first and only thing that’d successfully make its way of my mouth. I’d say I’m sorry for making my little soul go through a lot, I’d say I’m sorry that my younger self had to heal the scars from a battlefield I shouldn’t have been allowed to enter from the first place because I was just a kid.
Maybe there were times when you felt small and lost, desperate for someone to hold you and make everything better. You longed for a hand to guide you or calm the storm inside you. But maybe, just maybe, the person you were searching for is the one you’ve become now. I mean.. Look at you now, you’ve found your place in this world, there’s no need to feel ashamed for claiming space that you rightfully deserve. You no longer have to whisper timidly into the air since your voice is heard now. You’ve found people who love listening to you — every word even with all the stumbles and stutters. Maybe who you’ve become today could’ve saved who you were back then.
As the years went by, you grew up. Life became more serious, and responsibilities piled up. That kid who used to laugh at everything? Perhaps they were lost beneath all the expectations, stress, and pressure to be perfect. You started to worry about things like deadlines, bills, what others thought of you, and whether you were doing or being enough. But here’s the thing — that kid has never left, they still there, inside of you. You’ve grown in ways your younger self could never have imagined. The strength and wisdom you carry from all those silent battles are the very things that could’ve protected that vulnerable kid.
Somewhere along the way, the pressure builds, and life starts to feel heavier. We get trapped in a constant cycle of striving and surviving, often losing sight of what truly matters. Maybe for some, success turns into a checklist of achievements. But for me, it became something I chased without remembering why. I lost sight of the dreams I once held with innocent hands and the joy that came with even the smallest wins.
But for now, as I stand where I am today, I realize that no matter how complicated and heavy my life becomes, that kid — my younger self — is still there, watching. Deep within me, there’s a kid cheering, amazed at how far I’ve come. She hasn’t given up on me. She’s still there, wide-eyed, full of hope, wonder, and pride. Because despites all the doubts, uncertainty, and tears, I kept going. I kept moving forward.
So wherever you are right now, whoever you are reading this, please always remember; there’s a kid within you who’s clapping, cheering, and sees you standing tall, pushing through every storm. Part of growing up isn’t all about achieving success, gaining independence or acquiring wisdom — it’s also reconnecting with the kid who still lives in us, the one who still hopes we remember their joy, wonder, and their belief in magic of achieving dreams no matter how long they take.
That kid hasn’t forgotten all the wins — whether big or small. You’ve come this far, you’ve made her proud. That kid hasn’t lost faith in the greater achievements, and neither should you.
